Today I felt normal, for the first time in twelve days.
I was my usual self: happy, content with my life and with my choices, grateful that all the people in my life are lovely (got rid of all the toxic “friends”), that I am out of all my unhealthy patterns and I am actually going through this lockdown without texting exes or enabling the exes that have been texting me, and without shopping or binging Netflix, food and/or alcohol. My anxiety is bearable and I managed to identify, acknowledge and own most of my emotions. I am actually very proud of myself.
I woke up in my clean, sunny flat and everything felt in place and nothing was missing, except for my life, of course
The air was heavy with coffee brewing on the side and with the scent of the lilies opening up to the world
I opened all the windows and let the cool morning air in
I called my sister and my niece
I did my Spanish lessons
I did some Yoga stretching and my usual one hundred squats and crunches
Finished cleaning the carpets downstairs while listening to Shakira
Went to the garden
Spent less time on Whataspp; I’ve been texting too much with too many people lately and it turns out I need to introvert even when on lockdown, who would have thought???
Read Man and Wife until I got angry with Harry, the hero (again!)
Stopped reading and took selfies instead
Got annoyed at all the cats that use my garden as a toilet; they couldn’t care less I was there, wouldn’t go away when told so and, oh my god, they were even giving me attitude, looking at me bewildered, as if saying: “Why are you hanging out in our toilet, lady?”
So I ordered a cat repellent on Amazon
I only have to clean cat poo until Thursday, then they will be gone
Started watching The Stranger last night, can’t make head and tail of it just yet
Speaking of last night, I had to finally make peace with the idea that my new bedtime is now midnight and today I allowed myself to sleep until 8 a, it’s not like I had to be somewhere, right? Coming to terms with it will help with anxiety and eight hours of sleep will help me feel better throughout the day. I was reading my previous entries and it’s a fact: all my bad days were after nights with bad and/or little sleep.
Peaceful lockdown, lovely people 🙂
(Photo: selfie in the garden)