This my third day of self-isolation
Today was slow and fast at the same time. It’s Saturday but it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s like we are stuck in a limbo where all the days are the same or maybe we live the same day on repeat.
I turned inwards today. I want to feel all the feelings and try to process everything. Yes, I will make it. But I know very well that there’s LIVING and there’s SURVIVING. I’ve done my share of surviving, I am now interested in living, for better or for worse. In order to LIVE I need to be in touch with my emotions and understand what’s happening to me.
We are are all going through an ongoing collective trauma. Denying it is not going to end it or heal us. We are all dealing it with it differently. Some are falling apart now, some will hold it together and crumble when it’s over, some will not know how this has affected them for a while. I don’t know where I stand. Looking at my past trauma, I would say I could be in the last category. I can already feel this shifting my mind in very different ways. All I can do is pay attention and make sure the changes this will bring in me will be as positive as possible. If I am happy about something is that the pandemic found me in a moment of my life when I was at peace, stable, present and aware. Last year this would have torn me to pieces. Two years ago this would have been the end of me.
Other than the navel-gazing and soul searching episodes, my day was as uneventful as expected:
Woke up at 7 am
Read Man and Boy on my sofa
Got tired of my sofa and went to the armchair
Got really angry at Harry, the hero in the story
Had a whole conversation with him in my head (help!)
Found eggs at my local shop (they also had pasta and flour!)
I am going to make banana bread with eggs tomorrow, so decadent!
Had Milka cookies for lunch
Did my Spanish on Duolingo, without going OCD because I am still winning
Talked to friends, sister, niece (my social life is somehow improving during the lockdown)
Made creamy chicken and mushroom risotto for dinner (tried to follow a recipe but I went rogue. Also my arborio rice might have been expired; it was yummy nevertheless).
Listened to Buddha Bar
It looks like the way England is coping with this is by baking/cooking:
Stephen Fry is on a bread baking frenzy
Tom Allen was live on Instagram, making scones in a suit, without using a mixer because “what’s the rush” and when a viewer asked if he was going to add an egg he replied “we are not at The Savoy”
Noel Fielding was at it again with his very successful virtual Art Club on Twitter; it was lovely to see his hashtag trending on the third place, among all the Corona and Covid-19 related hashtags;
Sarah Millican is reading her autobiography out loud on Instagram
The My Dad Wrote A Porno gang hosted a virtual PornoParty on Twitter last night
Ellen Degeneres is calling celebrities from her sofa and her wife is trying to cook
I am grateful to every single comedian that, even though in lockdown, emotionally going through the same shit as the rest of us, are still doing their bit to put a smile on our faces
Have a peaceful lockdown, lovely people
(The photo was taken on Wednesday, March 25th, ONLY three days ago, which feels like a month if I am honest. It was taken on my last day out in London working, at Baker Street, and I am posting it because I miss walking around London, looking at spring bubbling up in trees and people alike, and taking it all for granted)