My Coronavirus Diaries: London Lockdown Day 3


I am back, baby! And Rishi is the one that brought me back. This is the day when financial help for the self-employed was finally decided. Let’s not forget this day, like ever. Also, he’s a bit hot, I don’t know if it’s because he gave me money or because he is very eloquent (I have a thing for well-spoken man), but my new reality is that I am lusting over a Tory and I am worried.

The no income perspective changes everything. I swear to all gods out there, in the span of a couple of days I dropped from the top of Maslow’s Pyramid back at the bottom, trying to figure out food and shelter. Thanks to Rishi, I can now focus again on achieving my full potential, unless I die of Ccovid or get trapped in a Netflix binge. But, let’s start with the beginning.

I woke up at 7 am, in a better mood today.

My day:

Coffee on the sofa, enjoying the sunlight flooding my living room

FaceTimed with my niece

Started reading Man and Boy by Tony Parsons

Watched stand up comedy on Facebook

Did the dishes

Cooked lunch: cabbage with kielbasa and rice with milk and cinnamon

Thought I should start a cooking channel on Youtube, teaching people how to cook with basically nothing, communist-style, in preparation for a world food shortage; I could name it “The Hunger Games”

Cleaned my kitchen

Cleaned my bathroom

Chatted with some of my friends

Went for a walk to my local park; my plan was to walk round and round and round into oblivion, or six-seven times until I would achieve my 10 000 steps

In the first ten minutes, I spotted the man I broke up with last year; for fuck’s sake, ex boyfriends that behaved like shit shouldn’t resurface like unflushable turds; I decided the Coronavirus was already taking enough of my headspace, facing an ex and of course, by association, revisiting the shit he did to me, was a bit much for the time being; so I filed him back to the “dead to me” category, left the park and went home to make a lemon cake, eggless of course.

How I am coping:

I have some paracetamol and frozen home-cooked meals to last me ten days in case I get ill with Covid-19, and you should too

I have books

I have music (today I listened to Nelly Furtado and Julio Iglesias)

I have Duolingo (I woke up to find myself on the 6th place, I had to work extra hard to get myself on the 3rd place, the shit is getting real)

My mind is finally clear enough to make a step forward and make some plans for the future

Last weekend I was having anxiety because I couldn’t eat out and hang out with my friends at the pub; this week I could almost see myself living in shared accommodation with ten other people in three bedrooms and stacking shelves at Tesco’s for a living (not even Waitrose, I was that low)

Like I always say, in life we have to be prepared for the worst, hope for the best and take absolutely nothing for granted! I swear once all this is over, I will never bail on my friends to stay home, I will go wherever they invite me.


(It’s 8 pm and people in my neighbourhood are clapping for the NHS. I am emotional, and I feel bad for sitting on my sofa, complaining about this and that, when the NHS staff are fighting death, day in and day out, for very little money and zero consideration from the government. I am sorry, please forgive me for being a shallow bitch.)







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