I woke up at 6 am overwhelmed by dread. I didn’t want to start the day. I didn’t have this feeling since about this time last year, when I was in a relationship that turned so toxic towards the end, it was bringing out the worst in me.
Coronavirus is like a toxic boyfriend: doesn’t listen, invalidates our feelings, invades our emotional space, makes a mess.
Anyway, this pandemic caught me completely unprepared. I keep on trying to wing it, every day I try a new approach. It’s okay, I will do better when the next disaster strikes. I am taking notes now to nail it later.
Cofee in bed
FaceTimed with my niece
Sang Hymn For the Weekend in the shower, very very loud, about five to ten times (I take long showers, sorry Greta and mother Earth)
Did my hair
Put on nice clothes
Put on makeup
With a heavy heart, I went out of the house and into the Coronavirus-y, yet very very sunny weather
Took a bus and then the Jubilee Line to Baker Street
I was early so I had time for my daily walk in the deserted streets
It felt creepy as fuck
But I got to see Madame Tussauds without a long queue outside
How I miss the London chaos!
The defendant was a no show so, after one hour of waiting in a cold room, I got to go home
I had chicken and veggie soup and Greek Yoghurt with banana for lunch
I watched Second Act with JLo
I FaceTimed with my niece multiple times
I didn’t do my dishes and I feel guilty
I chatted with friends
I did more Spanish on Duolingo and I am now on the 4th place out of 50 in the Bronze League (I have no idea what it means but it gives me purpose; next step is to take down the bitch on the 1st place and advance to the Silver League; and learn more Spanish, obviously)
Wrote this entry because I don’t want to forget ANYTHING
What I do to keep my anxiety in check:
- I go to bed early, at 9-10 pm and I fall asleep watching something that relaxes me, QI or Planet Earth
- I try to make sure I don’t fall asleep later than 11 pm
- I set an alarm to make sure I don’t sleep more than eight hours
- I try to keep my morning routine which used to be the best part of my day: coffee in bed, browsing various articles and FaceTiming with my niece
- I have a list of “lockdown activities”: reading, watching something fun, Duolingo, writing, studying, cooking (every other day), walking outside, writing on the blog, working out, cleaning and organising
- I alternate the activities because I find that if I do any activity for too long, it triggers my anxiety
- I eat twice a day, at 12 pm and no later than 6 pm
- I snack on fruit and/or protein bars between 12 pm and 6 pm
- No alcohol (alcohol is a depressant)
- I got rid by all the treats in the house (by eating them, over the weekend)
- I now need to get rid of five kilos (leftovers from various cakes over various weekends throughout my life)
- I will only allow myself cake and/or chocolate twice a week during lockdown (sugar is a depressant)
Today I did my last work assignment. I will now start self-isolation to see if I develop any symptoms after my daily travels by bus and tube all over London in the past two weeks.
May the Force Be With Us
(Photo by yours truly: Madame Tussauds on Wednesday, March 25th, 2020, the 2nd day of lockdown)