Let me tell you about my wild Saturday night, when I did a wee in the garden. I had to scare away a fox first. I was half asleep and almost butt naked but I was sensible enough to grab some wellies from the cupboard on my way out. I even put on the light outside, which is a weird white light, as if things are being abducted, like my younger step son would put it. I wasn’t abducted and I made it back to bed, eventually.
The reason for this intrepid excursion was that our bathroom door got stuck after my older step son bashed it a bit. He says he didn’t but who believes teenagers? I tried to fix it myself with a screwdriver at 1 am, up until boyfriend started to loudly object to the noise. He first threw a tantrum in the lines of “oh, my night is ruined” and then he tried to fix it himself. He even did some climbing. He got out on the kitchen’s roof through the kids’ bedroom window, walked the five or so steps to the bathroom’s window and up he went, to fix it from the inside.
He shortly gave up and came to bed. No looloo for us for the night. He played chess and I watched Fresh Prince for like an hour till we both fell asleep. Then at 3 am I needed the loo. So I took the garden. Boyfriend solved the problem on Sunday morning, like a real man, by calling a handyman.
I wanted to tell you about my Late Friday at the British Museum but since I started on this note, let me carry on with few more embarrassing bits about myself.
I keep my mani/pedi utensils in a sun glasses case from Esprit. I can’t open it in front of people because together with my utensils I also keep there the nail clippings from when I do my mani/pedi. I keep them for a while, mostly until I am so grossed out myself that I feel like setting the case on fire. That’s when I clean it, I disinfect it and the nail clippings collection starts again.
The second I sit on the loo, I start picking my nose. I read an article yesterday about how picking your nose, not necessarily on the toilet, is a healthy habit, albeit disgusting, as long as you eat the buggers. I forgot what the benefit was, to be honest. But I don’t care if it’s both ground breaking and life changing, I am definitely not THAT gross.
I am completely grossed out by belly buttons. I can’t stand to see them or touch them. Not even mine. My one is probably full of dirt as I cannot stand cleaning it properly. I was thinking to see if NHS would put me under for a professional belly button cleaning. I have the same problem with my ears but not as advanced. I can wash my ears if I wash my hair. Luckily I wash my hair quite often, otherwise I would be growing grossly scented candles from my ears.
And now I’ll leave you with a couple of pictures I took on Friday night, when I was taking the access to modern toilets for granted, not knowing what tomorrow would bring.